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A feeling of absence that God can only fill

I got up this morning like I do every  morning praying and filling my soul with God's unfailing love that he gives us every day when we are willing to receive it. I have learned over the years that His love is the only thing that sustains me no matter what happens in my day. I learned this the hard way not wanting to give up what I thought at the time was important. His love is a shield that protects me from this world and everything in it that try's to separate Him from me. I will not be shaken or moved from His love and I holdfast  and have a stronghold on His word. I eat big meals of His word daily to fill me up, I no longer just live on His word by snacking. Snacking was not filling me up or satisfying my cravings, I need big meals of His word, and digesting them slowly.
      Now that you know my mind set and where I live and who I live for, I will begin telling you about this special day God had planned for me before I was born. If you don't know already God gave me a ministry called love4love  about four years ago. I take people to the doctor, hospital, grocery store and where ever they need to go because they don't  have a car or transportation. God also gave me my ability to write after I had surrendered my life to Him, it was a gift I was very surprised I received but it was evident after I was drawn to write everything He was telling me through each circumstance and relationship. At first I was shocked and fearful I could not accomplish all of what He was giving me but after a few stories how He changes peoples lives I began to have faith in what He was telling me. Now I write for Him everyday and tell many stories about how he arranges people and circumstances to proclaim His love for all to see.
     It was almost 12:00 and my two friends and I were walking in the doctors office. They went in through the door first and I came in looking while I was walking in at all the elderly people sitting in chairs lined up against the wall, it was about 7 or 8 of them. My heart went out to them and I asked with a gentle smile, "How is everyone doing today?" To my surprise most of them said, "Fine, how are you?" One lady stood out and said with a big grin, "I am doing great, If I was doing any better I couldn't stand myself!" Suddenly I thought of my friend Mr. Duke Alkire, one of my elderly friends that moved to Florida, and I felt like God was giving me a piece of him. I was thinking a lot about Mr. Duke lately, I am working on a book for him. He is a retired member of a Chaplin core in the Atlanta Prison. He has amazing stories of faith in how God lead many people to Christ through him. I smiled at the nice lady and told her a special friend of mine says that same saying, and I felt like I was getting a gift from God through her. She went on to tell me that her husband says that saying and she says it now. I asked her was he there with her, and she said, "No, he was deceased." She went on and said, "He lives through me here and I carry him around by saying some of the things he use to say." I felt the love she had for God and for her husband. She went on and said, "Our loved ones do not die in spirit, they only die in the body and their spirit stays with us as long as we carry them by remembering  their words and actions and their spirit is always with God. I smiled at her and thanked her for her love she shared with me about God and her husband, I was touched and began to get a flood of God's wisdom in my mind talking to me without a breath in between. I hurried and got my note book out of my bag and began writing what He was telling me.
     I had been praying for some widows at my church that suffered a great loss in loosing their husbands for many years. I so wanted to comfort them and relieve some of their suffering. I told them about he love of God and how we are always suppose to have faith in Him through all our suffering and how his love will bring us through with more understanding of who He is in our lives. Of course they look at me like I am crazy because I have not "lost" my husband and how could I know what that kind of "loss" feels like. I would tell them that is what faith in God's love gives you. Faith is something we do not know but what we are sure of. I would tell them that I was sure of God's love and I loved Him more than I loved my husband and I knew He would comfort me and take care of me. I went on to tell them I didn't know how, but I knew He would always comfort me by the Holy Sprit He had given me when I made him Lord over my life. I began praying for them daily to receive God's love to fulfill their absence of the love of their husband. All these prayers began to flood my mind at the same time God was answering them through this  beautiful women He had led me to. I began to write down questions for God. The first one was; why do we say when someone we love dies, "I lost my husband, or Vicki lost her husband, or I am sorry for your loss?"  I did not know where these questions in my mind were coming from I  never thought about things like this before. I began to remember what that kind lady said, "Their spirit never dies". I knew that,  but God was telling me this saying of them being lost was something we thought of ourselves out of the absence we feel when they are gone. We have a sense of being lost without them because they are not there. God went on to tell me that we are selfish in wanting them because they were where they were suppose to be, in there eternal home. We were more lost than they were because all we have to do is turn to Him and He would give us more of His love to sustain us above  what ever their husbands did or ever could. That was what that lady was trying to tell me. I knew at that moment she had been married to God before she was married to her husband and I knew she knew a part of God that only a widow  that truly loved God more than her husband could know. Wow! What a love God has for us that could love you more than someone you had shared the most intimate  moments on earth with for most of your life! I knew this but to here it this way was more than I could ever imagine!! He told me that was the point He was wanting everyone to know. The love we have from  people on earth is just a drop in a huge bucket compared to the love we have from Him. When someone dies we love and we have that feeling of absence of love in our hearts, God fills it up with His love as quick as we let him. We use the words of God to carry God around with us just like she did with her husband, we are truly made up of spirit and truth, and He is the Father of Spirit, the Spirit of all Spirits, the Holy Spirit. My eyes began to fill up with tears in how much God was giving me at that moment. How could I put all of what He was giving me once more into words? Oh how I wanted to talk to the wonderful lady some more, I was being drawn to her, to ask her questions. I wanted to tell her I was writing a story God was giving me about the love she had for God and her husband. I picked up a smaller note book out of my bag and I walked over and introduced my self. I said, "My name is Vicki Gann and I am a inspired writer and I was enlighten by your statement and how your husband still lives through you by using His words. I started writing a story that God was giving me about your love for your husband and your love for God." She smiled at me and said, "Thank you very much, that is very kind." I asked for her address and phone number so I could get in touch with her and send her a copy of it when I was finished. I gave her my card because I write stories about everyone I meet and it seamed easier to get cards made up of my address and phone number instead of writing it down every time I ask for permission to write a story about them. I told her it was so refreshing to meet someone else that truly knew and had true faith in the love of God. She began telling me she did not understand why people said, " My husband is lost, or she lost her husband, or  I am sorry for your loss." She said with great love, "I was married to God before I was married to my husband, that is why I got such a wonderful husband to spend this short life with" I began to look at her with great wonder and amazement, she kept talking about how the words people say keep them alive if we remember them, just like God word keeps Him alive in us if we remember them. I wanted to tell her everything she was telling me God had already told me, but I was keeping God's words inside me and on my paper until the time the story was finished and everyone could see His power while they were reading it. I told her she was a breath of God's air and she lifted me up so far beyond myself. I told her I was so grateful to God for Him bringing her into my life, God had chose her to answer many of my prayers. I wanted to take her with me where ever I went so she could explain the love we receive when ever we feel any kind of sorrow. She said, "You can by writing my story and sharing it with everyone."
     As I was talking to her, the woman beside her said, "Excuse me did you say you were an inspired writer?" I said, "Yes mam, all of what God gives me I write about." She said, "I know you, what is your name?" I said, "Vicki Gann" She went on to tell me she knew me from a Sunday School class I visited about eight months a go and she had been wondering what happen to me. I could not believe God was giving me two gifts this morning. It turned out that  this women was going to be a wonderful relationship also. She was going to share this testimony with her Sunday School  of me meeting and writing her friends testimony after we had met a short time eight months ago. We all knew this was not an accident meeting and God worked through all of us. He will continue to work through all of us telling and writing this story of how He controls His message of love, how He uses people to answer His prayers and how He talks to us personally through the Holy Spirit and confirming it by giving the same message through another person. OH GOD!! How wonderful are your mighty works through those that love you! I will praise you everyday and give you all the glory!!!

1 Comment to A feeling of absence that God can only fill:

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price of a rolex watch on Tuesday, December 30, 2014 4:16 AM
I would like to thank you for the efforts you have put in writing this blog. I am hoping the same high-grade blog post from you in the upcoming as well. In fact your creative writing abilities has encouraged me to get my own blog now. Actually the blogging is spreading its wings fast. Your write up is a good example of it.
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