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How do we care for lost souls?

It is getting near the Holidays once again. My family usually goes to my parents house for the holidays. My family is made up of one son from a previous marriage, he is thirty one and a daughter and son from my marriage now going on thirty  years. My daughter is twenty eight and my youngest son is twenty one.

Some of you might not be aware of my oldest son and his life style he is living. He claims to be a homosexual at birth and still believes he is living in the will of God living this life style, and is not living a life of sin. There is no struggle, no guilt or shame at all in him living this life style. In fact he has embraced it and is raising his two son's in it. He claims to know God, he claims he is living through the Holy Spirit of God leading Him through his life as a father, friend, and brother to all people. He went to a Christian school and knows the Bible very well, do not think for one minute he does not know every word and how it is meant. He is fully confident and fully aware of all it says. He was born into a broken marriage, and he was raised by broken spirits and souls most of his life including mine most of his childhood. 

I have been forgiven  for all my sins and all my wrong ways those sins lead me to live. I have been washed clean by the blood of Jesus and He lead my soul and spirit to repentance, to accept Him fully as my Savior and Lord over my life so He could show me his love and grace that could change my life. His grace had a huge effect on me from the moment I truly met him up to this day. I have never left him nor wavered from His love, peace and grace that continually changes me and guards my heart. I was a sinner, a very good one and was living a life of sin daily, but now I am a saint saved by His blood of love that gives me His grace that empowers me to say no to all ungodliness. I have a huge amount of Godly sorrow when I sin and ask my Father for forgiveness immediately because my heart hurts as his hurts when I do sin. He instantly forgives me and gives me a peace within that has no human meaning or natural human experience. I am a new creature, I have been reborn by His love and grace through His gift of faith. His love and grace is real and there is no understanding it , or explaining it until you receive it. If there is no change in you then you have not received it, period! If his grace can change me, His grace can change anyone!!

With all this shared about how each of us view our relationship with our Father let us talk about our relationship we have together.I know I have spoken for my son but if he was here he would tell you the same thing,  When my son first told me he was gay I had already met my Savior. I talked to my son many hours about hurt, pain and forgiveness. We have always shared our feelings and emotions, all of my children are free to express their feelings before Christ and after I met Him. We talked about my hurts and his and how that hurt can turn into different things that God does not have a hand in. He told me he went to a counselor and discussed all of that. He went to a Christian counselor and he was healed from all of that. He told me that he forgave me, he had no hurt in him or no pain, and he finally was free to embrace who he truly was, a homosexual. He told me he wanted to find someone to love the way he wanted to be loved. He was married at the time and had two  boys but he got a divorce, moved in with another man and bought a house within a year or so. Now it has been about four years or more, give or take one or two, since they have been together. The counselor, I found out on a later date, was a homosexual as well. To top that, my son attended  a church that was led by a homosexual Pastor and the Pastor admitted it. I promise you, this is not fabricated at all with no slander intended, this is all very true and was a very painful experience. While all this was happening my son and I continued a loving and sharing relationship as I did with his partner Mark. I continued witnessing the love of God to them and how He wanted both of them to be his reborn children he would forgive all their sinful nature and replace that nature with His own if only they would continue giving themselves to God in repentance, wanting to receive His ways and His life He has planned for them. I told him God does not want anyone to continue in sin and if we continue we are separated from HIS love and the whole world loving you is less than one drop of his.

This went on for a while but soon my son got angry and would not talk to me at all any more because I would not let them come over without witnessing to them about the love of God. He wanted me to accept them the way they were in sin and  without seeing their sin.He thinks to this day he is not sinning so I should think he is not sinning. I told him I could not do that because God was in me and His love and grace would not allow me to turn away from Him, unless I wanted to give all that He had given me up. My son did not understand or maybe he did, he still says I do not love him enough to look away from the sin and accept him without it. He dose not accept his life style as sin, he accepts it has a gift of love from God, to love a man as a women or to love a woman as man it does not matter in God's eyes. So now we have no communication at all, not because I pulled away from my son, or my son pulled away from me, but because my son pulled away from God and I stayed with God. I still have a door and arms waiting wide open to my son and will always with a forgiving heart waiting patiently.

Now that you know about these relationships God has put together for his purpose I will tell you another he has put on our paths. My mom, and some of you might not remember she was a preachers daughter and has been doing "God's" work a long time in his church and each holiday she fills guilty not inviting Mark and Ryan to each holiday. She doesn't think we need to talk about God to him all the time. She says my son knows how she feels about their life style and we still love both of them without speaking about God all the time. We can love them without making them feel guilty of their life style. She says turning them away is not going to help them. I have told her a hundred times I do not turn them away but I cannot allow sin to be "OK" in my house as if I could walk right by and not hear their souls crying out to me needing a Savior to save them in their darkness.I cannot ignore their sin. After all He did that for me through one of His servants how can he not do in and through me as His servant. Especially with my own child who I love as a godly mother now. If he does not hear me I cannot allow the sin to be ignored. God does not ignore sin how can I. My son may hear Christ through me one day but ignoring the sin will never change him. Loving them and accepting their sin does not go together.

The Spirit of God in me does not allow me to walk by someone I know that is in darkness and not reveal HIS light in word, deeds and love. It hurts him when I do walk by without sharing what he has given me of himself, therefore it hurts me when I do ignore the sin or the darkness in another person. It is not in me to not  speak about His love for that person, about his healing power he wants to give that person, and about his grace that equips them to say no to the sinful nature that lives in everyone and say yes to the rebirth of God in them by His own sons sacrifice on the cross. This is His work he has put in me for that person, how can I not let His work out if I want to remain in His love? Do I put my son before him or do I sacrifice my son for Him? I will do the ladder and pray with all the power he gives me that my son will turn to Him as I did but I will not ignore the darkness that is within him leading him to live a life of sin.

My mom and I do not have a unity of Spirit and we do not believe in the same Jesus. She does not separate the sin from the person through Christ, she continues to think we ignore the sin by loving the person.  I believe Jesus loved the person and truly hated the sin is how he loved them, and that is how they loved him by His love separating them from sin. If we continue to ignore the sin how is his love going to change them?

I am all most finished, thanks for barring with me today. I know this is longer than most. I prayed about this again as I always do with each relationship and circumstances God brings into my life, and they are many as some of you may know. I believe he does with everyone if He is within, there is always His work to be done in and through you for all to benefit from. I was praying one night heavy with heart about this growing problem each holiday we are faced. I want so much for people to know Him and His true love and how it works through each person hoping desperately all will know His love that goes beyond our understanding. A love for souls that we cannot explain. I went to sleep praying and I had a dream....

The dream took place on a side of a mountain with thousands of people with all kinds of needles and drugs. They were all taking turns filling he needles with drugs and injecting the needles in their arms.The ones that were not doing the drugs were patting them on the back saying how much they loved them and what amazing people they were. They would ask them if they needed anything, food, clothes or money, as if they did not see what they were doing.Then they would switch there purpose. They did not see me, they looked right through me. I walked among them looking at their faces and eyes. They all looked so very happy and loving each other as if what they were doing was OK. It did not matter to the one doing the drugs or the one patting the other on the back. They all loved each other each taking  their turn doing the praising and the drugs. 

As I was walking around I heard cries of helplessness, and hopelessness, but I could not see where it was coming from. The cries got louder and louder, to the point I could not hear myself speak. I began to raise my voice to the people so they might here me because no one was looking at me to hear what I was saying as I was walking through theses thousands. I cried out, "Where is that crying coming from, why are you not trying to find it, why are you acting like you can't here it? I kept crying out to them, and no one would answer, they were all ignoring me, then one finally said, "We do not hear any crying, everyone is happy here and loving each other no matter what they do or what they say, we all love one another the way we want to be loved. I asked him again, "Do you not hear the crying, the loud crying, and the sound it makes?" He answered me again, "No, we love each other the way we are in our sin, in our sinful nature, we love each person the way we want to be loved in our sinful nature, the way God made us." I asked him,"Do you not want to be reborn? Do you not know about His Son Jesus Christ that came to save you from your sinful nature?" He said, "Yes of course we know Him, but we do not want to change we love each other like this and want to stay like this so we ignore Him and you because you are one of his." I looked at him in shock and walked away weeping as I walked to the top of the mountain. I turned and looked down at the multitude and fell to my knees praying to my Heavenly Father, "Father, where is the crying coming from, I want to help them!!" My Heavenly Father said, "You and I cannot because of the conditions of their stubborn hearts, they would never hear us and accept me and change as long as their hearts were in that condition. I asked Him again, "Where is the crying coming from then if they were not crying?" He said, "It is their souls and We could only hear them." I wept louder and louder in my dream, so loud I cried for real and my husband woke me up asking me what was wrong. He told me the noise scared him because I sounded like a wounded animal. I told him  I could not tell him at that moment, or the next day, but I will today.

4 Comments to How do we care for lost souls?:

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Ryan on Sunday, February 15, 2015 11:54 AM
I was skimming through my mom’s blog in hopes to see that she had changed some of her ways in dealing with people who are “sinners.” I failed to find any hope through the process of searching her blogs. I did, however, come across this blog that was about me. I was going to ignore it, but there is a large amount of false information, and I wanted to correct that information. I will keep it short and sweet. 1.My mom claims that I lived with broken people for the majority of my life including her. This is a misconception that many people want to place on homosexuals. They want to blame a horrible childhood on the “choice.” First, I left my mom when I was five and never lived with her again. She didn’t raise me, and she had very little to no influence on my life. I was, however, raised by my grandparents in a very loving home where I went to church every Sunday. My grandparents gave me the world, paid for my college, and never gave up on me. My father wasn’t perfect, but he was always active in my life. To this day, I can call my dad any time of day and he will be there to encourage me. My dad is my best friend and my biggest fan. I was not raised in a mess or a broken home. I left that when I was five. 2.I am NOT angry with my mother. I am not an angry person. People who know me know that I am the goofiest, craziest person. I am always laughing. Anger is not in my personality. This again is a way to make me seem like some angry, ungodly prodigal son. That’s not the case. I stopped communicating with my mother after she came to my house and told me I was full of sin and corrupting her spirituality. I decided that my mom had never been there for me before. Therefore, I decided not to work on saving a relationship that never existed. I worked way too hard for way too long to save a relationship that I dreamed of but never came to reality. She claims that all of her children could always talk to her about anything. My brother and sister…yes, but I never lived with her to talk to her. 3.My mom claims that she had a wonderful relationship with Mark and me. She would only come to our house when invited for birthday parties. She claims that we got mad going to her house and listening to her talk about the love of God. We were never allowed to go to her house. She told us that sin had no place in her home. We could go separately but never together. I could put up with her witnessing if we were actually allowed to go to the house. She also refused to allow me to come to my grandmother’s house with my partner. She made my grandmother choose between me and mark or her. I felt so bad for my grandmother that I decided not to go. 4.I did go to counseling in college to discuss the frustration I had with my mother. It was great and very Christian. That counselor was NOT gay. I also went to counseling after coming out just to talk my feelings through. That counselor was gay, but he had nothing to do with my coming out process. He did NOT turn me gay. The church I was going to had a pastor who was in the closet. I was already out when we were going to that church. He came out after me. My mom is trying to make it seem as if a gay counselor and pastor convinced me I was gay. That’s not true either. I was already out and proud before meeting them. These are just a few of the major misconceptions that were in this blog that I wanted to correct. I don’t see any comments, so I am sure that it has never been read. However, I am one who seeks truth, so I could not just walk away after reading this. I could go in depth of the inconsistencies with my mother and my coming out process and how she accepted my other siblings and family members in their times of “sin,” but I refuse to participate in a mud slinging. All I will say is that me coming out was no surprise to my mom. My step dad called me a “fag” when I was young and played with Barbie, I used to play dress up in her dresses with my sister, and my mother even sat me down one day while cleaning and asked me if I had anything to tell her about me. She told me she would love and accept me no matter what. I knew what she wanted me to say, but I had not accepted it for myself yet. I wish I had the support that young people have these days to come out young, but society wasn’t that way when I was growing up. Me being gay has nothing to do with my childhood. Was my childhood perfect? No. Who has a perfect childhood? No one. There are many straight people who have more upsetting childhoods; they weren’t turned gay. Being gay has nothing to do with childhood, crappy parents, lack of masculine influence, or not going to church. It has everything to do with how the person was created. Until that is realized, ignorance will continue to be a loud, annoying, and losing voice in the battle of equality. Peace
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Vicki Gann on Thursday, March 05, 2015 8:00 PM
I wrote a comment earlier but I cannot find it but if it shows up this one will say the same thing. I must say it is very strange for me to talk to my son only from my blog but I will take any communication I can get. I will not comment on any one else's relationship with God that God has not revealed to me the truth in person. I cannot commit on my son's father's relationship with God but I can comment on my mothers, my other children's, my in law's relationship with God at the time of my divorce from how all of them treated me and my son's father at the time. All I know is what I have heard and experienced myself with relationships right in front of me that has revealed his truth. I know what kind of relationship I had with my son his entire life. I know what kind of relationship I had with his father, his grandmother and grandfather. I do not know what kind of people they are now as they do not know what kind of person I am unless they read my blogs. That is a good indicator. Are they all forgiven by me, of course they are with no hesitation what so ever. Do I know what sin is, yes, and so does everyone else that truly has a relationship with God. Do I allow sin voluntary in my house, no, not without guidance to repentance and forgiveness. I cannot accept sin and God cannot either, he forgives it but he does not and will not ever accept it without repentance. Repentance means change of heart, willfully going in another direction toward God. The love between a man and a woman is not a sin, the fact that there is a girl and a man together in someone's home is not at sin, that is a natural relationship. Sexual relations between a man and a woman before they get married is a sin and I do not allow that in my home. What they do outside of my home I will comment on but I have no control over. A man and another man being a girl friend and a boy friend together without sexual intercourse is a sin. That relationship with the love of a man and a women shared between two men is a sin. The love is a sin not only the sexual relations. If a Father loves his daughter in a unnatural way it is a sin, if a sister loves her brother in an unnatural way it is a sin. Without the sex the love the feel between them is a sin. It is unnatural and God says it in my heart as much as in his word for their benefit of leading them in the right direction out of love not for my own righteousness, I too was a sinner living in sin and was saved by grace. I am what I am by the grace of God so it is not for my benefit that I am trying to lead my son away from his evil desires it is for His and for God's sake. For those that say they know God's righteous decrees and do not live by them it is a sin as well as any other. I cannot allow sin in my house for myself without repentance, and forgiveness so I receive grace from God, enough not to commit that sin again. If I do this for myself I surely must allow God to do this for someone I love as deeply as my son. This is an elementary teaching of his word but it seams to need to be repeated again and again. There is a website called True life.org that has a homosexual message from someone that use to be gay or use to believe he was gay that gives a beautiful testimony that many need to here. It brought me to tears in wanting my son to listen to it. Sometimes God will lead us to people that have experienced what we have experienced before we hear him and his true message. It is called does God love gay people? My answer is yes, as I do love all people, but he loves them enough to change them into His newborn children in repentance from their sin, not to continue living in it. Please Ryan my dear son whom I love and have loved forever and you know this to be true in your own heart. We had many meaningful one on one conversations through out your life full of truth and love. So if you truly love God then look up this website and listen to the video that is from a person that claimed he was gay but found God's grace and love that saved him. His peace and love always, your mom.


planet resume on Saturday, January 19, 2019 1:53 AM
Support your family and friends because they need you in a bad time and you also need them. You connect with each other. So, be with them if you really want them happy.
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list of tripods 2019 on Sunday, February 03, 2019 6:37 AM
We care them by giving feedback to us and then we realize how things are moving. That's what we do.
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