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How do we want to be loved?

Good morning, grace and peace from God our Father and our Lord Jesus Christ.

This week as been a challenging week for me. I have been longing for a relationship with a family member that shows God's love is shared between us. This week it was revealed to me once again from my Savior the lack of God's will living in this person's life. This person has not truly been there for me emotionally most of my life. There has been many times this person has planned time alone, and at the last minute changes their plans because it is more convenient to stay where they are. I get excited about our plans, I can't wait to spend time with them, and am eager to share my burdens, temptations and God's grace with this family member. This person that is betraying us could be anyone in anyone's life, a friend, or family member.

Before I go into our relationship let me tell you where we both are. Both of us claim to be in Jesus Christ, both of us have freedom from a every day service job in the world demanding our time. I have my ministry that changes everyday depending on the relationships  and circumstances that occur that God calls me to put above myself. I am eager to do His will and please Him and He always gives me more of Himself when I am obedient to his call as He does for all of His children. If someone calls,comes by, or I have planned to visit their needs are above my own because of Him not because of me, but because of the love He has for that person has been given to me.His love for them through me puts them above myself in what they need. His interest becomes my interest in other people. He wants that person to feel loved by Him through me. This is the work of the Holy Spirit in all of us that are truly his. I have fully given my life to him and in turn have put others before myself.

This family member God has given me in my life has never put me before their self in what she wants to do, or what she thinks she has to do. She is married, her and her husband have retired and every time we are on the phone if he speaks while she is on the phone she she quits talking to me. If he wants something to eat, she quits talking and fixes him something to eat. He is not an abusive man, nor is he the type that would not understand if she told him, "hold on". If he is at home, she will stay at home regardless if she has planned something with someone else, except her church meetings.  When this family member does do things for others, 95% of the time it is only when it is convenient for her.There has been many times she has changed plans in helping someone in need for a church meeting. There was a time when something horrible had happened to me and I asked her if she had a few minutes to pray with me, and they told me they had to go to lunch with friends.There was a time when a man was dying and his wife wanted me there, she did not want to be alone. This family member was my only transportation, although I tried other resources with none available. Her excuse was she was too tired and the husband died and his wife was their alone. 

Another example; if someone else wants my family member to take them somewhere she will be with me and that other person at the same time. She never will be alone with each of us when it is more convenient to do it  all at one time. Remember this person does not have a job and we live 3 miles apart. I have told my family member I desire deeply to have a meaningful relationship with them and want to spend time alone with them. I tell them I am willing to give them gas money, pay for meals and any cost they may have. My family member will tell me they too want to spend time alone with me, but they never  prove what they are saying. There is always a "but"  I..... It is more convenient for them to do it their way.As if to say to each of us, "you are not important to me enough to make my life inconvenient". They continually say what they need to do but do not ever do it. 

We all can get into this rut and never come out of it as long as we focus on ourselves and not on what God is calling us to do,"Lay down your life for me". God tells us within His Spirit and through His word a wife's place is with her husband, but  that does not mean to be a slave to her husband. When God is calling her to spend time with others when he is capable of taking care of his self. In this way he also will learn about sacrifice.  We should be one in mind and thought but all of us have different relationships to be honored through His love at different times to prove our own relationship with God. I am not talking about a few times changing plans that need to be changed because there is a greater need. I understand things happen that have a greater need and  our Father wants us to spend our time where His greater need lies. I am talking about giving up our convince for a greater need. Many people do great things today but only when it is convenient for them and expect God to bless it. Is this loving others as you want to be loved, or doing for others what you will have them do to you?

Mathew 7:12 So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

Mark 12:31 The second (the most important commandments that Christ fulfills) love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment grater than these.

We do not live by these commandments by making ourselves these people that love or do. Christ does it through His gift of Him through the Holy Spirit. We are reborn by the Holy Spirit. He does His love work through us and renews our mind by the new heart He gives us through His Spirit. We live by His gift of faith He gives us for making us Holy and true as we give ourselves daily to Him.

As always our God and Saviors's grace is sufficient enough for us, we are all betrayed at one time or another, some more than others. Christ was betrayed  more than anyone, and many times in life until death. His grace will always guard our hearts as we continue to pray for those that do not give up their life for His, by giving up their convenience for Him. We who truly know Him will become eager to do His will with His strength to do it. We will never grow weary only full of joy. The more inconvenience we become the more joy we receive from Him. It is Him loving that person how can we ever be inconvenienced! I asked myself,  do I love others as I want to be loved? I can say today through His grace and confidence He has given me since I gave myself completely to Him seven years ago, I have totally loved others in the past seven years how I want to be loved. I asked myself, how do I want to be loved?

1) I want to feel needed through words and deeds -  through Christ I am going to make people feel needed through His words and His deeds.
2) I want to be understood -  through Christ I want to understand.
3) I want forgiveness - through Christ I want to forgive.
4) I want my burdens to matter to other people - through Christ the burdens of others are going to matter to me.
5) I want others to put my needs before their own - through Christ I am going to put their needs before my own.
6) I want help- Through Christ I will help.
7) I want to know the truth - through Christ I will always tell the truth for their benefit.
8) I want encouragement through His word- through Christ I will always give encouragement through His word.

I can say in full confidence by His gift of grace my conscience confirms it, that Christ has changed me in how I want to be loved into His loving others. Before I knew Him I had the first column "I want" but I did not have through Christ He will make me....

Today ask yourself how do you want to be loved, and if Christ is in you, He will be loving others His way the right and true way of how we are to love others. We will receive more of Him within us as we do give up ourselves for others for His sake. We will gain more of His peace, His joy, comfort, faith, and guidance by continuing to do His will for our lives. 

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