Good morning to all, grace and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
Today I was having a conversation with someone about God and my childhood. I was having this conversation with a person that has known me since birth. When I was a child I did not know God personally. I knew of him, but He had not touched my heart or renewed my mind. He was something that was not real to my inner thinking our soul. He was just a figure I imagined that had no true reality or substance within my heart. Did I go to church, yes, and did I read my Bible; very little. Did I pray, yes, and only when I wanted something or thank him for something. Did I pray every night before I went to bed, no, only every once in a while out of duty of doing something right, but with empty words that had no effect within me.
There was no love shared within my spirit or soul for my Heavenly Father or by him. I did what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. I was the same when I left the church, as when I went in. I truly never knew the guilt and shame I was caring around in me. Although I would hide my real thoughts and feelings about me and my life not wanting all my deeds known.
There was a change in me brought on by wanting to please my parents when I was older, after my children were born. Because of all the wrong decisions I had made when I was younger, and I was still making them. I tried to change myself by pleasing them, hoping their acceptance of me would be enough to change me. So I would go to church, work in the church, study my Bible and go to classes with them trying to please them. Hoping someday I would feel their acceptance. These task did make me feel good, but no change within me occurred, only on the surface and this good feeling would quickly fade away. I soon would do something for someone else that would make me feel good. Although outwardly it may have looked like I was changing, but no change inwardly. Still no love received from God or no love given to Him from my spirit or soul. I was still going my own way and making my own choices. Some choices still morally wrong and some morally right. Still not knowing the guilt and shame that I was caring around in me, nor did I know His peace, faith and love He was offering.
Then when I was older I did receive my Savior's love that filled me, and I knew the wretched person I had been all of my life. No matter how morally good I was It was nothing compared to his love and goodness.I gave him all of me that was not him, including my good moral behavior, and told him to reveal in me what was not His goodness.I did feel the guilt and shame of who I was with many tears, but his love drove me to ask Him for forgiveness for not thinking of him and not recognizing him all my life while he was calling and coming to me at the cross. This was Godly sorrow and it changed me.
That day at the cross he washed all my condemnation away, took my sinful nature and destroyed it with all of its guilt and shame that was attached to my sinful nature, it was crucified with him. Then I shared many tears of joy with him, and have since that day years ago.
He raised me, and keeps me raised up to be with him in soul and spirit since that day by His Holy Spirit, and His Spirit gave life to my mortal body. He gave me the gift of his righteousness by his amazing gifts of grace that I carry daily by his faith to live in this imperfect world.
All guilt of me being a ungodly daughter, friend, and mother was gone, and all guilt of me being a unholy sinner was gone and a new heart was given. The heart of God through his Son was given to me and has given me new life in all ways. The same heart he wants to give the whole world that continually wants to please him and do his will for their lives.
I was discussing this changing transformation with the person that knew me since birth. She told me I knew God when I was younger and went away from him. I kept telling her I never knew him personally, because if I did know him intimately and his love like I do today, I would have never done the things against him that I did. My eyes were never opened to the true real God because I never experienced any change, no guilt of living the wrong way was in my mind, or in my heart.
If I loved him and truly knew him there would be no way I would have been a ungodly child, adult, friend or mother. But me saying that was OK, and it did not hurt me. Saying it only gave me more of his faith, grace and peace. I had no guilt in telling my daughter the truth about me, and I had no guilt or shame when my daughter told me the truth about me, it was gone! I have no guilt and shame sharing my truth with anyone, because of what He gives me in it's place.What an amazing God we have that would give us enough acceptance by his presence living in us we can share all truth with others and all receive more of him! This was amazing, I could look at myself in the mirror and receive peace, love and acceptance from God, and I was free through His Spirit from all condemnation! From now on I would have Godly sorrow which would convict me with hope, forgiveness and more grace. It would give me endurance and peace to continue to walk by his faith. It would encourage me instead of destroy me! His truth in the mirror I could take and live with because he would always give me what I needed to form me into his image.
As we continued our conversation and I was telling her about his love her next statement blew my mind, and it reveals to me the relationship she has with Christ. I was not expecting it at all. She said, "I know Vicki,It is all my fault," she said it as if she was under punishment as in condemnation, like I was condemning her" There was no evidence of her receiving God's peace in forgiveness, his grace and confidence from God through the presence of his Son. She had not fully surrendered to God herself so this condemnation disposition had not left her.This opened my mind into what God was revealing to me about her for her benefit.
Condemnation in the Greek language is the word katakrima, it sounds like kat-ak'-ree-mah. It means punishment or damning sentence, a harsh judgment.
2 Corinthians 8:10 Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow bring death.
When we have a disposition of harsh punishment that is condemnation.When Christ is in us we are free from this type of disposition. When we are in our natural selves our flesh, we have this kind of deposition. When we receive Christ we know the difference the cross makes when we truly receive him at the cross and live through His Spirit of truth. That way we know it is God changing us truly through the Holy Spirit of Him and His Son and we know he is the only One God that can through His faith, hope and love and the greatest is his love.
John 3:17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son.
During our discussion I never mention her and her life. We were only discussing the truth about me. This women claims she knows Christ and has known him all of her life, but she claims there was a time in her life she thought she did not know him. She was trying to get me to understand I was like her. During my childhood this woman never spoke about God to me nor did she explain the cross.She believes most young people leave God that is part of growing up.
For me if you are young and you have fully surrendered your life to God then you are no different than someone else older that has fully surrendered their life to God and there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus, you are free and forgiven, you no longer carry guilt, and you live only to please him. You live or walk only through the Spirit and not the flesh. The way you know this is, there is no condemnation, no regret, no forgiveness.
He washes you clean from all guilt you feel deep down you had never known or seen before, when he touches you with his grace and love, all your shame in your sinful nature you lived in before is gone and you now live through his Spirit, unless he never was in you fully to begin with you still may harbor condemnation. Godly sorrow brings repentance, forgiveness and hope, condemnation brings you down heavy with guilt and with no hope, and no refresh clean feeling in your heart and soul. No freedom felt with condemnation.
Romans 8:1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. (NIV)
Romans 8:1 There is therefore, no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. (KJV)
"Those who are in Christ Jesus". This is a disposition that he give us when he comes in us to live, and those that are in Christ Jesus have no guilt or shame, only forgiveness, his peace and love when we share his truth with someone else. There is difference between our dispositions when we are in Christ, how we give and how we receive.
If someone else, or you have condemnation about anything that is said to you, you say to someone, you do, or someone does to you, what is God revealing to you? Do you know the difference between condemnation and conviction? If you do, not turn to Jesus Christ now and give yourself fully to Christ let his grace wash over you, let his forgiveness wash you clean. There will be no regret and no punishment only his saving grace in the mirror. When the Holy Spirit convicts you there is peace, acceptance, hope and forgiveness there is no condemnation, he came to save you from it and give you a new life!
His peace and love always.