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How do we want to be loved?

Good morning, grace and peace from God our Father and our Lord Jesus Christ.

This week as been a challenging week for me. I have been longing for a relationship with a family member that shows God's love is shared between us. This week it was revealed to me once again from my Savior the lack of God's will living in this person's life. This person has not truly been there for me emotionally most of my life. There has been many times this person has planned time alone, and at the last minute changes their plans because it is more convenient to stay where they are. I get excited about our plans, I can't wait to spend time with them, and am eager to share my burdens, temptations and God's grace with this family member. This person that is betraying us could be anyone in anyone's life, a friend, or family member.

Before I go into our relationship let me tell you where we both are. Both of us claim to be in Jesus Christ, both of us have freedom from a every day service job in the world demanding our time. I have my ministry that changes everyday depending on the relationships  and circumstances that occur that God calls me to put above myself. I am eager to do His will and please Him and He always gives me more of Himself when I am obedient to his call as He does for all of His children. If someone calls,comes by, or I have planned to visit their needs are above my own because of Him not because of me, but because of the love He has for that person has been given to me.His love for them through me puts them above myself in what they need. His interest becomes my interest in other people. He wants that person to feel loved by Him through me. This is the work of the Holy Spirit in all of us that are truly his. I have fully given my life to him and in turn have put others before myself.

This family member God has given me in my life has never put me before their self in what she wants to do, or what she thinks she has to do. She is married, her and her husband have retired and every time we are on the phone if he speaks while she is on the phone she she quits talking to me. If he wants something to eat, she quits talking and fixes him something to eat. He is not an abusive man, nor is he the type that would not understand if she told him, "hold on". If he is at home, she will stay at home regardless if she has planned something with someone else, except her church meetings.  When this family member does do things for others, 95% of the time it is only when it is convenient for her.There has been many times she has changed plans in helping someone in need for a church meeting. There was a time when something horrible had happened to me and I asked her if she had a few minutes to pray with me, and they told me they had to go to lunch with friends.There was a time when a man was dying and his wife wanted me there, she did not want to be alone. This family member was my only transportation, although I tried other resources with none available. Her excuse was she was too tired and the husband died and his wife was their alone. 

Another example; if someone else wants my family member to take them somewhere she will be with me and that other person at the same time. She never will be alone with each of us when it is more convenient to do it  all at one time. Remember this person does not have a job and we live 3 miles apart. I have told my family member I desire deeply to have a meaningful relationship with them and want to spend time alone with them. I tell them I am willing to give them gas money, pay for meals and any cost they may have. My family member will tell me they too want to spend time alone with me, but they never  prove what they are saying. There is always a "but"  I..... It is more convenient for them to do it their way.As if to say to each of us, "you are not important to me enough to make my life inconvenient". They continually say what they need to do but do not ever do it. 

We all can get into this rut and never come out of it as long as we focus on ourselves and not on what God is calling us to do,"Lay down your life for me". God tells us within His Spirit and through His word a wife's place is with her husband, but  that does not mean to be a slave to her husband. When God is calling her to spend time with others when he is capable of taking care of his self. In this way he also will learn about sacrifice.  We should be one in mind and thought but all of us have different relationships to be honored through His love at different times to prove our own relationship with God. I am not talking about a few times changing plans that need to be changed because there is a greater need. I understand things happen that have a greater need and  our Father wants us to spend our time where His greater need lies. I am talking about giving up our convince for a greater need. Many people do great things today but only when it is convenient for them and expect God to bless it. Is this loving others as you want to be loved, or doing for others what you will have them do to you?

Mathew 7:12 So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

Mark 12:31 The second (the most important commandments that Christ fulfills) love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment grater than these.

We do not live by these commandments by making ourselves these people that love or do. Christ does it through His gift of Him through the Holy Spirit. We are reborn by the Holy Spirit. He does His love work through us and renews our mind by the new heart He gives us through His Spirit. We live by His gift of faith He gives us for making us Holy and true as we give ourselves daily to Him.

As always our God and Saviors's grace is sufficient enough for us, we are all betrayed at one time or another, some more than others. Christ was betrayed  more than anyone, and many times in life until death. His grace will always guard our hearts as we continue to pray for those that do not give up their life for His, by giving up their convenience for Him. We who truly know Him will become eager to do His will with His strength to do it. We will never grow weary only full of joy. The more inconvenience we become the more joy we receive from Him. It is Him loving that person how can we ever be inconvenienced! I asked myself,  do I love others as I want to be loved? I can say today through His grace and confidence He has given me since I gave myself completely to Him seven years ago, I have totally loved others in the past seven years how I want to be loved. I asked myself, how do I want to be loved?

1) I want to feel needed through words and deeds -  through Christ I am going to make people feel needed through His words and His deeds.
2) I want to be understood -  through Christ I want to understand.
3) I want forgiveness - through Christ I want to forgive.
4) I want my burdens to matter to other people - through Christ the burdens of others are going to matter to me.
5) I want others to put my needs before their own - through Christ I am going to put their needs before my own.
6) I want help- Through Christ I will help.
7) I want to know the truth - through Christ I will always tell the truth for their benefit.
8) I want encouragement through His word- through Christ I will always give encouragement through His word.

I can say in full confidence by His gift of grace my conscience confirms it, that Christ has changed me in how I want to be loved into His loving others. Before I knew Him I had the first column "I want" but I did not have through Christ He will make me....

Today ask yourself how do you want to be loved, and if Christ is in you, He will be loving others His way the right and true way of how we are to love others. We will receive more of Him within us as we do give up ourselves for others for His sake. We will gain more of His peace, His joy, comfort, faith, and guidance by continuing to do His will for our lives. 

A story of My sweet Lord's Work

Last week, seven days ago exactly, I was taking a break from writing and decided to fix me something to eat. While I was eating I wanted to watch something worthwhile on T.V. Asking my Lord to help me choose something I could learn something more about Him through. His love has brought me to a place in my life that is all I want to do is to see, hear, and learn more about him from all that he has created. I was flipping through all the information of what was available on my T.V. and I was drawn to a documentary about a man named George Harrison, called, "Living in the Material world."

I was born in 1957 and I have heard of the band, "The Beatles", and had some of their albums growing up. Although music has not been an important passion in my life above others, I do, and have always liked all kinds that have touched me in a way only music can. I am not one of those that constantly have to have it playing, that goes to endless concerts and become what some call a "groupie" or a follower of a type of music that sometimes can loose control of their senses. I like all kinds of music has I have told you depending on the mood I am in. I may want my mood to be calmed or excited and there is always music to do both. 

We do desperately need people in the world that do have a passion for music because through their gift they are given messages to proclaim our needs that may change the listener to an enlighten state they had never had about themselves and the world we all live in. We are always touched by these people and their music that takes up deeper into our deepest thoughts we may have never faced about ourselves before in who we are or who we are not. I am sure the Beatles will tell you they had songs that entertained the feelings of the heart that may have went deeper than others. I believe as they grew as men quickly, without much choice because of the way they were thrown into the world through their gift, their music grew with them with deeper meanings. That is the Beatles magic or myth some may call it. I believe it came to them for a bigger purpose and I do not think they realized it and how big until it revealed itself. This is the point of God and His work. They put their hidden meanings in songs that others may not have been able to express or understand. They opened a door some of the world was not ready nor will they ever be ready to understand.This is the material world we all live int. It needed to be opened with truth and I for one am most grateful they had the courage God gave them through their talent to do it. We often go through life doing these amazing things and o not realize where all this amazement comes from. Although I truly believe each one of them knows now where all things come from, but some may have known before others. This is what good music does, and it can change the way a society thinks for HIS love and HIS peace to be known. That is why we need good song writers to express the truth they have been given through God, because some of us may not recognize it. 

I have already told you I have never had a great passion for music, but I have a huge desire and passion for knowing my Lord and the gifts he gives people in expressing His thoughts. This desire is given to all people who love Him and are seeking Him. If He is recognized in you he will use you for His purpose. It is our relationship with our Lord that gives us His interest in people. I can remember a time before I new Him personally, Jesus Christ, I did not care about others in their personal thoughts of truth, nor did I care what myself thought about truth. I thought I was truth, the way I made myself was who I was.I just wanted to live my way and complete what I thought for myself was important, my eyes were closed and my ears were blocked by my wants not the real truth I needed. I was living in the material world, the world we see, touch and feel. I truly did not think about why I was here, where I came from much less where I was going. I wanted to please others in their image of what they saw and my own image of myself  I wanted and I soon found out that was impossible to truly live by and have peace. We on our own do not know ourselves, much less trust others in what they may know.

 I also remember a time much earlier in life when I was very young when I did want to know all those answers to those questions but soon they were blinded by the world and what was in it. My sweet Lord returned those questions in my mind much later in life through sending me someone that spoke His truth at a time I could read his voice, and He my Lord opened my eyes. I envy those that are very young and get their questions answered by God through people that know His truth and do not let the world blind them or block their hearing. But I also know everyone is on their own journey in finding Him Our One true God through His Son Jesus Christ and all regret is gone once you embrace His love. I know my journey has brought me to where I am and I am very thankful my Lord did not give up on me, and from my own journey I am able to help others that might not read his call to follow Him. As soon as his grace touched my soul at a place He only can, I knew my eyes had been truly opened. I saw myself, and the world differently through His eyes. I was forgiven for all of my ignorant and foolish thinking, living and drifting apart from Him. Through His Son I could start my life as Him being my sweet Lord teaching me the truth about Him within me, his purpose and plan for my life. That is the way I thought of him immediately and gave Him my life to do as He saw fit. His love took me above and beyond myself for His people. When we say I give my life,  do we mean a moment in life or a life full of moments? When I told my Lord I was giving him my life, I meant every moment in my life, not the moment I choose but through the life of moments he gave.

I never thought of the Beatles much after 1969, they were just another group to me. The "Fab four" was not that important in my life, not enough to change it for the wrong or right reasons. I was a rebel but not the "music rebel". I would have never heard the words "Fab four" if I did not see this documentary. If someone would have asked me if I have ever heard of the Beatles, I would say of course I was born during that time. Still others that were not born in that time have heard of them because of their passion for meaningful music. The impact their music had on society was like no other. I knew the first names of Paul, John and Ringo because they are more in the media and have stories that have been publicized like John's death, and their work was more publicized along with their personalities. For someone to know the names and information about a band or musician they have to be very passionate about their music and about that person. Which every artist needs to build their platform from. Their gift has to touch a part of them that takes them beyond where they have been and each person as to have that desire to go beyond where they have been.

We often go through our lives saying we gain wisdom with age, but I believe through our circumstances God gives us His wisdom no matter what our age. Meaning we are all fools in His eyes until we recognize Him as our Savior, through Jesus Christ. Which many think is a bad thing, they are offensive when God tells them how foolish they are, but for God to tell us anything is always a good thing.  He knows us better than we know ourselves. It is only him that can go to the unsearchable part of our souls. If you do not want that part reached you will always live a fools life. God does not hold us responsible for our foolish nature of sin, but He does hold us responsible for not turning to Him to save it. Who are we to argue how He brought truth into the world, that is why it is good to admit how foolish we all are without Him. I suppose you are wondering why explaining my lack of passion for music is so important. It want you to understand it was not through the music I was drawn to this documentary. It was because of my passion for my Lord and Savior and through Him he has given me passion for his children. That is why I was drawn to this documentary.

As I pushed the "watch" button with my remote I had no idea of the journey He was leading me to. The journey my Lord would open my heart even deeper about Him and His work and how He uses people in the world. I would have never known the love of God through this  person called George Harrison and all the others God revealed. My sweet Lord revealed so much wisdom about His plan through these people about the world, Him and themselves  I would have never received without seeing this documentary. Oh how I wish I could sit down and talk to George, John, Ringo and Paul and have a real conversation with no pretense, no false agendas, no judgments, but only seeking and sharing a truth we all are seeking more of. A truth they were forced to realize at such an early age. This is why I believe  for all of them it was a blessing to begin this journey of the Beatles together as much as it was to end their journey together as a Beatle. Our Lord will always open and close a door with a much deeper reason than we realize. 

As I watched intently these very young and naive persons God created in this material world, and they were fully in all of it; deep in it. They were deep in the materiel world in what was seen by the human eye. I began to see how all of them became not of the world as they lived in it.I saw how God took them beyond them selves and opened up another world and how they were being used to open the eyes of others. No matter how the world turned or wanted them to turn, by using slander, pretense, greed, judgment and self seeking agendas, they fought for turning it in the right direction. They were the first o talk about, feel, sing and embrace true relationship with truth through peace and love through their music. They learned quickly the lie of the world, while fighting and searching for the truth and where it came from for each of them. I truly believe John and George know all truth now about our sweet Lord, because of their endless search to find Him. The Lord has revealed to me the other two will find Him as well, he has reassured to me that he has them through what this documentary has revealed. 

Through saying yes to my sweet Lord's lead in watching this documentary about this one person's life. I have learned more about Him, my Lord and His work, in how, what and who he uses to accomplish it. I also for the first time truly heard George's song, "My Sweet Lord" which took me into a deeper love for Him, my Lord in leading me to this documentary. That name is what I have called Him in my heart for several years. I know exactly George's deep feelings for our sweet Lord, he may have received His love in a different way, but I know the love we both share. The love that gives us faith that can move mountains and take away all fear. It is through His Holy Spirit that we can share the love he has for all people. Our Sweet Lord is covered up by the foolishness of the world and our own minds. I realized with great joy that our Lord wanted me to meet these souls. Even if it was on a documentary on T.V. his Spirit works through all things He creates. I met them and felt them as if they were sitting with me in my simple but comfortable living room. That is the amazing work of our sweet Lord giving us all gifts to reach each other through His life given Spirit. Their gift was and still is the gift of music, and their inner souls growing with their music that He our Lord can only have given them. He is the only one that creates His love in us that will lead us in the right direction. I listen to the song, "My Sweet Lord", often now. Even though he sings about another god or gods, I know the true ONE the words in my mind are proclaiming, and it brings me close to my Sweet Lord Jesus Christ every time. Through that song my Lord gave me a poem to write. I do not have the gift of singing like the Beatles, but God has given me the the gift to write the message he wants to proclaim. I hope you do not mind George that I used your title. I have a heart full of peace so I believe you are telling me that it is OK, after all He is the Lord of us all. I thank God for you George Harrison, Paul McCarthy, John Lennon and Ringo Starr for  bringing me closer to my sweet Lord through your life story and your music this far.  Through your story He has changed my life to be even closer than I was before, with a deeper loving relationship and that is why we are all here. If I do not ever see you in person, Paul and Ringo, though I am praying I will before my life here is over, I pray I will see you in Heaven along with your other friends, George and John. His peace and love we will always know and share. This is the poem God gave me to share from what He has given you.

My Sweet Lord

I see you Lord, I see you my sweet Lord,
forgive me, because it took me so long.

My sweet Lord, Oh my Lord.

I really wanted to see you all along.
I was searching is why it took me
so long.

My sweet Lord, Oh my Lord.

Now I see you, now I know you, it
won't take long, it won't take long.

My sweet Lord, Oh my Lord.

You have always been here but I 
could not here you. My sweet Lord,
Now I hear you, now I hear you, it won't 
take long.

I hear you in everything, and I see you everywhere.
Oh my Lord, my sweet Lord.
Oh, how I hear you, oh how I see you, ho how I know
you, my sweet Lord, oh my sweet Lord.

 His Peace and love to all always, written by God through Vicki Gann for all His people!

Whose "good" are we passing on?

Good morning to all! Grace and peace from God our Father and Lord Jesus Christ!
My Heavenly Father led me to Sunday school a few weeks ago and I experienced a revelation He wanted me to share with you.  I was silenced in sharing what He was trying to reveal to the assembly of people present. If you know me you know this has happened many times during my most glorious relationship with my Father. Where there has been many opportunities to worship HIM and His goodness there has also been opposition. 

God reveals this same circumstance when Jesus sent his apostles and also when Jesus sent Paul. This also will happen to us when we are one with the Father has Jesus was. No matter how small the injustice or whether we know it is an injustice at the time, God will tell us for his purpose. Persecution comes many ways today, some is harsh and in some cases the persecutor is not aware he is the persecutor. This is a deception today many Christians are in and do not realize it. 

There is always pride in our own goodness that reveals it is not God passing on his goodness because their is not God's peace and no fear of the cares of this world in the person's life. God's love draws out all pride and all fear. There is none left to power over a person for the one that has totally surrendered to their Father.  Our Father will always reveal this to His chosen people to benefit the persecutor as well as the one being persecuted. His work is for all to benefit from HIS goodness, knowledge and wisdom not our own spirit and flesh being lifted up, but Him to be lifted up, so people can be drawn and long for Him.  Not  for the one being persecuted to be lifted up as well as the persecutor. He is to be lifted up in both when both become HIS child. 

With all this written and proclaimed to you I will tell you what happened this glorious day my Father was present during my Sunday school class.

We were studying Ezekiel's vision of the transforming stream in Ezekiel chapter 47 of God's word. To make a long study short, the vision was proclaiming God transformed the "dead sea" to a living and clear water through Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. Which means we are all dead inside until we accept the blood of the cross for our sacrifice and then God washes us and makes us clean when we give Him freely all rights to our self.He receives all the glory of making us his beloved children with His gift of the Holy Spirit changing us into the image of Christ His First and only Holy Son. Which creates in us a fresh spring of living water flowing out of us proclaiming his goodness and love that has saved each person. As long as we give the dead in us to Him by His gift of faith, He will continue to give the life giving Spirit to us.

The author of the lesson used an example of God's goodness and the "passing forward" philosophy of today to demonstrate how good deeds can multiply. I am going to share with you this example and I want you to read it and receive what God is telling you through it. I am going to change the names to protect them because it is a true story.

Mike Smith, a owner of a business, in Morning Star South Carolina, had been concerned for his small town and the people in it. In early 1999, he handed out $18,000 n unexpected bonuses to the 30 employees of his business, with one string attached. He asked that each person donate 15 percent of the bonus to a charity or to someone who was worse off than he or she was and to spend the rest of the bonus at local businesses. Then he handed out the money in $2 bills. 

The employees did as Mike asked. One woman donated money to a neighbor in need. Then she purchased fabric from a local store for her sewing group that makes baby blankets for neonatal units at area hospitals. She purchased tires for her car from a local garage with the rest. In addition to helping some directly, Mike's gifts were a shot in the arm for those businesses in Morning Star. In fact, that is why he gave it in the uncommon $2.00 currency, so there would be some way to get a sense of how the money was circulating.

Then the author of the lesson asked us this question, When have you been the recipient of a good deed or a kindness "paid forward" to you. How did it grow your spirit?

Now it is your turn to meditate on God's word and His relationship He has revealed to you by His knowledge and His wisdom. Wait a few moments, it may take some of you a second or to some He may come  instantly with His knowledge of whose good is being proclaimed through this example. Although the one giving the lesson and the one doing the good does not realize it now they may as they grown in Him. Those of us that have God's Spirit fully and God's truth fully in us daily with His gifts will only be able to see His perspective and His goodness or the lack of his goodness through His gift of judgment he gives his reborn children. There is no wrong answer only how you respond will reveal if you are rightly related to Him or not and if you are not you can always be right now!! That is the miracle of Him in who he is, it is never to late to receive more and more of Him. The first time you give of yourself at the cross you will always give and receive more of Him freely. 

I am going to reveal to  you my answer and how God revealed my answer to me through  His Spirit and word. Before we go on I would like to share with you the definition of reveal that many of us do not let happen with  others because our own pride in how we believe.
(reveal- to make known, to show plainly; open up to view.)

His word is dwelling in me so I respond instantly most times because His word has taken over my mind and heart. It is by the Holy Spirit's work in me, it has nothing to do with me making myself Holy or good or passing on my own goodness. I only gave and continue to give to HIM what  was and is not Him in me everyday. This is a one time freely given gift to Him of myself that I carry every day and in return he freely gives Himself to me everyday as He does with everyone that freely gives themselves to him.

Luke 9v23 Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.

My response to this story that was read in my Sunday School class was taken by others with a shock and disbelief as some proclaimed I did know what I was talking about and should change the way I was thinking and speaking. Which perplexed me because God gave me at that moment 30 words, and I plainly proclaimed them very calmly."I do not feel or see God's presence in this example of God's goodness by this story nor in this person that is suppose to be sharing God's presence to others." 

You would think a bomb went off in our Sunday School class! A few could not believe I did not feel or see God's presence by this example in person and deed, others stayed silenced. The ones that spoke were the teacher and a well known leader that seamed to be followers of Christ. Before I had a chance to reveal why God revealed this response to me they silenced me. A few minutes later they ask for more comments and I said, "I would love to comment but obviously you are not going to like what I have to say, so I am going to keep quite. The teacher of the class looked at me and said, "Good then keep quite", so I did and wrote my response down on paper and am sharing them with you.

The first clue my Heavenly Father gave me about this goodness this man was proclaiming not being our Father is the words "one string attached". God never gives us anything with a string attached, we do not have instructions accompanying our gifts except the love of God compelling us to give. No instructions on what others must do with our gifts when he gives them to us that is up to each individual and their relationship to God in what they do with the giving he gives through us for others. As it is with Him, it is up to each person to do what they want with the gift God gives them of Himself through His Son, they can decline them or use them for His purpose, this is our free will, it is up to each individual what they want to receive of Him by what they are willing to give Him of themselves.

Proverbs 18v16 A gift opens the way for the giver and ushers him into the presence of the great.

Matthew 10v7-8 As you go, preach this message: "The kingdom of heaven is near; Heal the sick raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received, freely give.

The second clue my Heavenly Father gave me was this man gave the money in $2.00 bills so he could keep track of where it was going. I am sure others knew it was his money as well since they received it this way.

Matthew 6v1-4 "be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. "So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Ten your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

The third and final clue my Father gave me that this example was not His goodness is He was not proclaimed and He, my Heavenly Father did not receive any acknowledgement in the glory for His grace of giving.

Proverbs 3v6 In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Due not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.

Hebrew 13v15 Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise-the fruit of the lips that confess his name.

John1v14 The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

These are a few of God's words that gave me the clues this was not his goodness proclaimed. This man I am praying for now as I am praying for all to receive His grace and His goodness so He can receive all the glory for our goodness and our giving because He gives through us and it His His work that should and will be proclaimed if He is truly within us. This is a good example of God's goodness and grace of giving, I love to live by through His Son. It is a prayer to God from David that I too feel as David felt about His Father.

1 Chronicles 29v12 Wealth and honor come from you; you are the ruler of all things. In your hand are strength and power to exalt and give strength to all. Now our God , we give you thanks, and praise your glorious name. But who am I, and who are my people. that we would be able to give as generously as this? Everything comes from you, and we have given you only what comes from your hand.
v17 I know, my God, that you test the heart and are pleased with integrity. All these things have I given willingly and with honest intent. And now I have seen with joy how willingly your people who are here have given to you O Lord, God of our father Abraham, Isaac and Israel, keep this desire in the hearts of your people forever, and keep their hearts loyal to you.

If you cannot see the difference in these two examples then go to the cross of Christ and receive His salvation of faith for your soul so He can give you the grace of giving of discernment through His Spirit of truth. If you can see the difference then praise God that He has given you the eyes and the mind to discern the difference and proclaim His goodness and give Him the glory for all the good we share! IF you are in Christ you will be living out your life as His word lives in you,  and you will be acknowledging Him, through confessing His name and love through your deeds with out conscious effort but supernaturally through His Holy Spirit because he will be living through you for others! There will be a super natural change take place in you, through you and all around you as His goodness spreads!

How do we care for lost souls?

It is getting near the Holidays once again. My family usually goes to my parents house for the holidays. My family is made up of one son from a previous marriage, he is thirty one and a daughter and son from my marriage now going on thirty  years. My daughter is twenty eight and my youngest son is twenty one.

Some of you might not be aware of my oldest son and his life style he is living. He claims to be a homosexual at birth and still believes he is living in the will of God living this life style, and is not living a life of sin. There is no struggle, no guilt or shame at all in him living this life style. In fact he has embraced it and is raising his two son's in it. He claims to know God, he claims he is living through the Holy Spirit of God leading Him through his life as a father, friend, and brother to all people. He went to a Christian school and knows the Bible very well, do not think for one minute he does not know every word and how it is meant. He is fully confident and fully aware of all it says. He was born into a broken marriage, and he was raised by broken spirits and souls most of his life including mine most of his childhood. 

I have been forgiven  for all my sins and all my wrong ways those sins lead me to live. I have been washed clean by the blood of Jesus and He lead my soul and spirit to repentance, to accept Him fully as my Savior and Lord over my life so He could show me his love and grace that could change my life. His grace had a huge effect on me from the moment I truly met him up to this day. I have never left him nor wavered from His love, peace and grace that continually changes me and guards my heart. I was a sinner, a very good one and was living a life of sin daily, but now I am a saint saved by His blood of love that gives me His grace that empowers me to say no to all ungodliness. I have a huge amount of Godly sorrow when I sin and ask my Father for forgiveness immediately because my heart hurts as his hurts when I do sin. He instantly forgives me and gives me a peace within that has no human meaning or natural human experience. I am a new creature, I have been reborn by His love and grace through His gift of faith. His love and grace is real and there is no understanding it , or explaining it until you receive it. If there is no change in you then you have not received it, period! If his grace can change me, His grace can change anyone!!

With all this shared about how each of us view our relationship with our Father let us talk about our relationship we have together.I know I have spoken for my son but if he was here he would tell you the same thing,  When my son first told me he was gay I had already met my Savior. I talked to my son many hours about hurt, pain and forgiveness. We have always shared our feelings and emotions, all of my children are free to express their feelings before Christ and after I met Him. We talked about my hurts and his and how that hurt can turn into different things that God does not have a hand in. He told me he went to a counselor and discussed all of that. He went to a Christian counselor and he was healed from all of that. He told me that he forgave me, he had no hurt in him or no pain, and he finally was free to embrace who he truly was, a homosexual. He told me he wanted to find someone to love the way he wanted to be loved. He was married at the time and had two  boys but he got a divorce, moved in with another man and bought a house within a year or so. Now it has been about four years or more, give or take one or two, since they have been together. The counselor, I found out on a later date, was a homosexual as well. To top that, my son attended  a church that was led by a homosexual Pastor and the Pastor admitted it. I promise you, this is not fabricated at all with no slander intended, this is all very true and was a very painful experience. While all this was happening my son and I continued a loving and sharing relationship as I did with his partner Mark. I continued witnessing the love of God to them and how He wanted both of them to be his reborn children he would forgive all their sinful nature and replace that nature with His own if only they would continue giving themselves to God in repentance, wanting to receive His ways and His life He has planned for them. I told him God does not want anyone to continue in sin and if we continue we are separated from HIS love and the whole world loving you is less than one drop of his.

This went on for a while but soon my son got angry and would not talk to me at all any more because I would not let them come over without witnessing to them about the love of God. He wanted me to accept them the way they were in sin and  without seeing their sin.He thinks to this day he is not sinning so I should think he is not sinning. I told him I could not do that because God was in me and His love and grace would not allow me to turn away from Him, unless I wanted to give all that He had given me up. My son did not understand or maybe he did, he still says I do not love him enough to look away from the sin and accept him without it. He dose not accept his life style as sin, he accepts it has a gift of love from God, to love a man as a women or to love a woman as man it does not matter in God's eyes. So now we have no communication at all, not because I pulled away from my son, or my son pulled away from me, but because my son pulled away from God and I stayed with God. I still have a door and arms waiting wide open to my son and will always with a forgiving heart waiting patiently.

Now that you know about these relationships God has put together for his purpose I will tell you another he has put on our paths. My mom, and some of you might not remember she was a preachers daughter and has been doing "God's" work a long time in his church and each holiday she fills guilty not inviting Mark and Ryan to each holiday. She doesn't think we need to talk about God to him all the time. She says my son knows how she feels about their life style and we still love both of them without speaking about God all the time. We can love them without making them feel guilty of their life style. She says turning them away is not going to help them. I have told her a hundred times I do not turn them away but I cannot allow sin to be "OK" in my house as if I could walk right by and not hear their souls crying out to me needing a Savior to save them in their darkness.I cannot ignore their sin. After all He did that for me through one of His servants how can he not do in and through me as His servant. Especially with my own child who I love as a godly mother now. If he does not hear me I cannot allow the sin to be ignored. God does not ignore sin how can I. My son may hear Christ through me one day but ignoring the sin will never change him. Loving them and accepting their sin does not go together.

The Spirit of God in me does not allow me to walk by someone I know that is in darkness and not reveal HIS light in word, deeds and love. It hurts him when I do walk by without sharing what he has given me of himself, therefore it hurts me when I do ignore the sin or the darkness in another person. It is not in me to not  speak about His love for that person, about his healing power he wants to give that person, and about his grace that equips them to say no to the sinful nature that lives in everyone and say yes to the rebirth of God in them by His own sons sacrifice on the cross. This is His work he has put in me for that person, how can I not let His work out if I want to remain in His love? Do I put my son before him or do I sacrifice my son for Him? I will do the ladder and pray with all the power he gives me that my son will turn to Him as I did but I will not ignore the darkness that is within him leading him to live a life of sin.

My mom and I do not have a unity of Spirit and we do not believe in the same Jesus. She does not separate the sin from the person through Christ, she continues to think we ignore the sin by loving the person.  I believe Jesus loved the person and truly hated the sin is how he loved them, and that is how they loved him by His love separating them from sin. If we continue to ignore the sin how is his love going to change them?

I am all most finished, thanks for barring with me today. I know this is longer than most. I prayed about this again as I always do with each relationship and circumstances God brings into my life, and they are many as some of you may know. I believe he does with everyone if He is within, there is always His work to be done in and through you for all to benefit from. I was praying one night heavy with heart about this growing problem each holiday we are faced. I want so much for people to know Him and His true love and how it works through each person hoping desperately all will know His love that goes beyond our understanding. A love for souls that we cannot explain. I went to sleep praying and I had a dream....

The dream took place on a side of a mountain with thousands of people with all kinds of needles and drugs. They were all taking turns filling he needles with drugs and injecting the needles in their arms.The ones that were not doing the drugs were patting them on the back saying how much they loved them and what amazing people they were. They would ask them if they needed anything, food, clothes or money, as if they did not see what they were doing.Then they would switch there purpose. They did not see me, they looked right through me. I walked among them looking at their faces and eyes. They all looked so very happy and loving each other as if what they were doing was OK. It did not matter to the one doing the drugs or the one patting the other on the back. They all loved each other each taking  their turn doing the praising and the drugs. 

As I was walking around I heard cries of helplessness, and hopelessness, but I could not see where it was coming from. The cries got louder and louder, to the point I could not hear myself speak. I began to raise my voice to the people so they might here me because no one was looking at me to hear what I was saying as I was walking through theses thousands. I cried out, "Where is that crying coming from, why are you not trying to find it, why are you acting like you can't here it? I kept crying out to them, and no one would answer, they were all ignoring me, then one finally said, "We do not hear any crying, everyone is happy here and loving each other no matter what they do or what they say, we all love one another the way we want to be loved. I asked him again, "Do you not hear the crying, the loud crying, and the sound it makes?" He answered me again, "No, we love each other the way we are in our sin, in our sinful nature, we love each person the way we want to be loved in our sinful nature, the way God made us." I asked him,"Do you not want to be reborn? Do you not know about His Son Jesus Christ that came to save you from your sinful nature?" He said, "Yes of course we know Him, but we do not want to change we love each other like this and want to stay like this so we ignore Him and you because you are one of his." I looked at him in shock and walked away weeping as I walked to the top of the mountain. I turned and looked down at the multitude and fell to my knees praying to my Heavenly Father, "Father, where is the crying coming from, I want to help them!!" My Heavenly Father said, "You and I cannot because of the conditions of their stubborn hearts, they would never hear us and accept me and change as long as their hearts were in that condition. I asked Him again, "Where is the crying coming from then if they were not crying?" He said, "It is their souls and We could only hear them." I wept louder and louder in my dream, so loud I cried for real and my husband woke me up asking me what was wrong. He told me the noise scared him because I sounded like a wounded animal. I told him  I could not tell him at that moment, or the next day, but I will today.

Are some of us letting the cares of this world take over our faith?

Good morning, grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

This morning first thing before my cup of coffee I got a phone call from a friend that was out of town. She was concerned about her 25 year old son she left at home because he was not answering his phone. She wanted me to go to her house and knock  on the door to wake him up because he had a important presentation he was suppose to be giving at his place of employment this morning. Of course I went to her house and knocked on the door. There were two cars in the drive way, the dog was barking in side and there was no answer. He was there but he was not coming to the door.

My dear friend has had a life of sorrow for the last several years. She had breast cancer, her husband died of cancer and her cancer has returned. Her daughter has made some bad life choices along with her son. She still holds herself responsible for their lives as  many of us do when we truly do not give them to God in faith as His responsibility in raising them through us. She still holds her self responsible for waking him up in the morning. She still holds herself responsible for leading him and she depends on his income to support them because she is ill and cannot work due to her recurring cancer. She worries about how they live, dress, walk and talk. She worries constantly about dying and leaving them alone without her to guide them the way they should go. She holds everything in and never gives anything to God and it shows by her heavy heart and load she carries alone.

She is like some of us in this world that have let the cares of this world swallow them up inside. She cares how she looks to the point she will not wear white in winter only in summer, because people may think she as no fashion sense. She will not go without a wig or a hat she is scared how people will see her without any hair. She always feels like she is being stared at so she constantly stares at others. She worries about her yard and her house being seen out of order by the people that drive by. She worries about wearing proper dress at each function she is invited to and not wanting to show people she is not ethically taught in her up bringing. She worries about  workman working on the power lines on our  street. She worries about the empty lot where the school buses park when someone walks through it. She worries constantly about the choices her children make and why they are making them. She cares about what her mother thinks of her to the point she lets her mother upset her often to the point of tears and a great deal of anxiety and bitterness grows. She constantly worries about her finances by figuring out what she can do to improve them. These are just a few cares of this world that she has let come between faith in knowing God. These cares come before His relationship and He cannot free her from any of them. Each of us have different cares in the world and Christ will reveal each one we are to give to Him if He is our first care we care about. " But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. This means if I am first  thinking of Him through the Holy Spirit of truth, I am relying on Him and all I care about in this world He will be taking care of His perfect way." I too had many cares that were crushing me in life and finally I gave all myself and all my cares in my life to my Savior Jesus Christ by His gift of faith and He was pleased to take my sinful nature and give me His Spirit and my cares to prove His glory in me and my life. It is my most important relationship in my life and that is why I am reborn and redeemed along with my cares in this world by what He gives me of Himself. All praise and glory go to Him as My God, Father and Savior all the days of my life through each care of this world.

My dear friend has told me many times she has faith in God and the next sentence it is a care and worry she has not given Him. Worry and cares of this world do not mix with God's faith, it is impossible to mix worry, doubt and unbelief with God's faith. Either you have His faith or you don't and the cares of this world will always reveal if you truly have received God's gift of faith or not. It is a much needed test to prove His faith in you is real but many are not realizing the test because they do not know who he is. If you have peace through your circumstances and your cares of this world then your faith is genuine and real, then His peace and love will guide your heart. If it is not genuine and the most real relying source of your assistance then  worry, doubt or fear will take over and pull you down in despair always. We all have a chance to turn to Him and let Him  give us faith to take our cares away if we acknowledge Him as our Lord and are relying on Him and His relationship being the only one that can fill our soul with His peace and blessed assurance. He will always lift you above the cares of this world but you have to turn to Him and receive His faith in what he is telling you and His love that opens your heart in receiving His.

We who are in Jesus Christ will always teach our children His way of going with faithful instruction he gives us for them because it is always His way we are going ourselves. With our total faith in Him giving us all we need for this life within ourselves,  and all around us, or this instruction will back fire on us and it will not work because God only works through us. If He is not working through us in our relationship with Him, no one else will benefit from His work. "So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you." Through me giving Him myself he gives life to you. There is a time when our children will no longer look to us for guidance, they will look to God only. Then we will give each other guidance through Him in unity, because he will be working through one another. This is how we are to live as a family unit, then church, then community, nation and world. Although some in the family, church, community, nation and world will not accept Him I am sadden to say His wrath will remain on them.

I told my dear friend we to have faith in God alone and give Him the cares of our heart when it comes to our children or any care we may have. When they have grown up to the point to make their own choices in life we have to step out of God's way and trust in Him as we trust Him in us. We always will instruct them in the way they should go but we do not control them on how they will go or when to go, if we think this way the cares for our children will crush us.  I told her to let her son mess up on his own if that is the way he wants to live, she had to stop waking him up as if he was still a young child cutting his meat so he will have to depend only on his mother, as she depends only on her son. He has to learn for himself how important our Lord is in His life because he has to learn his own relationship with God is the most important as she does her self.

My friend went on to tell me her son had called her early in the morning at 2:00 am, he had been drinking and had a huge argument with his 22 year old sister on the phone. She asked him why he was doing this on a Tuesday night when he had to get up the next morning to do a presentation and go to work? She went on and told me he could not loose his job! I asked her has she ever asked Him who in life does he rely on? Who does he have faith in? What relationship in life means most to Him? If we ask these questions to our children then the answers will reveal their sufferings and cares of this world that have taken them over and let swallow them up.

To be parents our Lord works through, we first have to ask ourselves these questions and if we are in Christ the answers will be Him and only Him above all else because we know He cares for us when we give our cares to Him, and He proves to us He cares for us a lot better than we can care for ourselves. He is our God and we are His sons, and daughters he loves and works in and through. We are free from all other cares of this world no matter how small or big they seam to us they are all small to take care of by Him. He is our only true favor and acceptance and He is the only one that we have to please. He is the pure peace in our souls that His presence can only give us through all the cares of this world!

What and who should we be fearing above all?

Today it is Sunday and as most of you know I fear the Lord and have no other fear in my life that compels me to live. I began to pray this morning as I do every morning to my Father. I prayed desperately for my family to be compelled by my Father's love to go to church to worship our Holy Father. He has given us our new mind, redeemed our souls and given us our purpose for living on earth through giving us the gift of Himself through His Son on the cross of atonement if we have received Him we will have fear of who He is in our lives. Do we have fear in our lives and if we do what should we be fearing?

This morning my son was home from college, my husband was off from work, my daughter was off work with her two year old child, her fiance was off work, and me were all present and living in a two bedroom, one bath house. I am helping my husband and my children to know our Lord and they have no fear of who He is.They know I love my Lord more than anything in this world and put Him above everything in this world but I also know they do not. How do I know you ask, and is it my place to know and if I do know, what do I do and how do I respond to their lack of love and fear for our Heavenly Father? Do I speak his words he gives me? Do I pray continuously for them to turn to Him and for our Father in Heaven not to give up on them? Do I go to church by myself praying always that someday they will follow His love that he gives them and they give back to Him? The answer to all these questions is yes, through His Spirit of truth we will be doing all these for our friends and family. Those who wait on the Lord will be blessed.

Psalm 130 v4 But with you there is forgiveness; therefore you are feared.
I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope.

Today I did not go to church to worship with others, today I stayed on my front porch and read His word, prayed with tears seeking His comfort and peace to assure  me that he answers all my prayers. I told my Heavenly Father I knew my beloved children and husband had no fear of Him, in pleasing Him, in following His commandments, desires and purpose for their lives. Their fears were pleasing others, themselves, pleasing their own stomachs in what they wanted to be fed with. They had good intentions, they never sought out to live an immoral life, they worked hard, completed their responsibility on earth but not the one that truly matters in Heaven. To acknowledge our God and our Father was not their main concern or their main relationship on earth. Knowing this by their behaviors, actions, and words I pray always and give His instructions and words when he leads me by the opportunities He gives me with each relationship.

Proverbs 3v5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

My children and husband have been blessed many times by our Father due to answered prayers from His faithful servants he works through. It is my fear for them that they will not acknowledge where the blessings come from and give more of themselves to Him to lead, and grow with His presence within which gives all of us more fear to please Him above all things on earth to do His will in our lives. This is the relationship with Him that gives us our true identity within ourselves.
 I pray that they will have fear in the Lord which they do not posses at this present time. Not a fear to be afraid of Him, but a fear of losing the faith, hope, love, peace and joy he gives all who believe in Him being their Savior and Lord. I pray they all receive this love an grace that introduces the fear of who He is in all the earth and in Heaven.

Deuteronomy 31v13 Their children, who do not know this law, must hear it and learn to fear the LORD your God as long as you live in the land you are crossing the Jordan to possess. 

I was a rebellious child myself that my Lord redeemed and brought me to Him through the cross with our own going receiving and giving, never leaving relationship. I did not raise my children to have fear of our Lord  nor did my husband truly have fear of the Lord, but we knew of Him but had no fear of Him in who He was as our Savior and Lord. We both had not receive His understanding of who He truly was, is and always will be.

Proverbs 1v7 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.

For me and my house for many years had not received true knowledge of who he was and when I received His knowledge of who He was I never wanted to loose it. Whether each person has received His knowledge will be evident of their fear in who He truly is and will be present in their behaviors and the words that they speak. God describes those that have been given His Spirit of wisdom in Proverbs 2. (read  proverbs 2)
If you are someone that have accepted my words through my Holy Spirit you will be storing my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom, applying your heart to my understanding, you will be calling out for my insight,  you will cry aloud for  my understanding,  you will be looking for it as silver and will be searching for it as for hidden treasure. Then you will understand the fear of the Lord because He creates these desires in you and you will fear not having them.

For Him to be our Lord is to fear not completing His desires He puts in our hearts our soul, to complete His will and purpose in our life. If there is no fear, has His presence been truly known and experienced living in us? 

Through our Savior we receive the Spirit of God that teaches and reveals our purpose.Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior so His love and faith is given to us to compel us to do what He puts in our heart in completing His desires. Jesus ask us, "Why do you call me Lord, Lord and not do what I say?" Means you cannot call me Lord, Lord and have no fear in losing His love, no fear in hearing Him above everyone else,  no fear in completing His commands, and no fear in receiving more faith to compete His purpose and His desires in our lives.

For us who have family and friends that do not truly fear the Lord, God gives us this promise, Deuteronomy 31v32 The Lord gave this command to Joshua son of Nun; ( has he gives us)  "Be strong and courageous, for you will bring the Israelites into the land I promised them on oath, and I myself will be with you."

Today if you have no fear of God then today turn to Him and receive His nature, His behaviors through His Son Jesus Christ from His atonement for us on the cross. If you have no fear of Him being your Lord in following  His commands and His decrees than He is not living in you not can he work through you to help others know and have fear of losing His gift of Himself living in them.

Luke 12v5 But I will show you whom you should fear; Fear him who, after the killing of the body, has power to through you into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him. 

His love is what compels us to believe, to be obedient to Him with what He puts in us for our benefit and the benefit of others. I am asking you to please pray for my family as I pray for yours that all of us keep the fear of the Lord so He will keep us from all fears through His love that he gives us through His Son that guards our hearts. With His love and grace given to you always.

Many prayers,
Vicki Gann

Have you lived twice?

There was a couple sitting on the bus one evening going home in New York. They were having an in-depth conversation about life and feeling pain and sorrow from what they just learned by the pregnancy test she just took at a friends house. She was pregnant but He was not the father of the child. He was a friend and wanted to comfort her very much. She was twenty two and had lived a sad painful life. Her dad had passed away when she was twelve and her mom went numb after that. She became the mom and had to take care of her mother after her father died. Her mother loved her dad very much but never looked  past her pain to see her daughters pain. She left her mother when she was sixteen and moved to New York thinking she could start a new life. She waited tables and ended up falling for all the wrong men that told her one thing but wanted another. She was hard pressed for money all the time trying her best to pay her bills and rent on time. She had  met this friend she was on the bus with this day at her work place, they both lived in the same apartment building. As they were trying to figure out what to do, she asked him a question that I over heard. She asked him, "Do you think this is all to life there is?" He said, "I don't know, I have never met anyone that lived twice." She smiled at him with a chuckle thinking he was funny, it took her mind off herself for a moment to realize everyone suffers, and has pain so she did not feel so alone, everyone lives like she does. I could not help but to think to myself, I have lived twice, I should tell them about this miracle so they too can live twice with me. So I began telling her that I knew a man who had lived twice, lived to tell about it and is still living, because He lived twice we can too. She was all ears thinking this is a story she had never herd before. She asked me with eyes wide open, thinking to herself she had a chance to live a different life, "Who is he," she asked, with great excitement? I said, "His name is Jesus Christ, do you know Him?" She looked at me with confusion for a few seconds and realized at that moment He did live and die and come back again. She began asking me questions and understood by faith in Him being our Savior He saves us from our sins,how we all can die and be raised up living a new life through Him now and forever in Him and with Him.
She began crying different tears, tears of joy and peace. Tears of guilt and shame being removed and she knew her new life had begun. She knew she was going to keep the baby, she had new hope He had given her. She was living her second life and she was going to glorify Him in her new life He had given her. She began telling us, with tears of joy, her child was going to know  Him and He was going to provide all she needed in a job, a husband, a life of thankfulness for Him saving her. She new things were not going to be easy but by the power of love He had given her in that moment she knew nothing was to hard for Him. They both were enlighten beyond themselves this day, this hour on the bus. She went on and told me about her life, her dad and her mom. She could not stop talking with excitement and joy, a joy she had never known before. They both got off the bus and I did not see them again. I did not see her or him again after that. I wonder if she went home, moved back in with her mom and told her mom about this man that lived twice and now lives more and more everyday in each of us who believe. This man called Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior who is our God in the flesh who gives us himself so we can live twice, this life without Him is not all there is, He is our Savior, we are born into a new life when we believe in Him for now through eternity.

Do you truly know Him?

Did you know when we have more faith in Him being our Lord means we will have more faith in Him deciding for us automatically. We will automatically acknowledge Him, by His gift of grace we receive, it will not be a conscious effort it will be a light of wisdom we have never known before given to us freely because we are His own people sealed with His Spirit of truth that gives us a mind to want to obey our Father! We no longer think and talk the same, it is not done by our effort, it is given to us freely by having faith in Him giving us his hope, for His gifts to accomplish His purpose for our lives. Did you know His will for our lives comes to us also, without trying to find it or look for it, it comes to us when we give him ours! His will becomes our will without any deliberate work or effort, all His gifts are of himself, given to us because we believe He is all in all, we receive all of Him! All this I know because the Holy Spirit revealed it to me and also because His word always backs up what His Spirit within me tells me, Why you ask? Because I believe in who He is and what He says, I believe in His love, His mercy, His compassion, His peace, His joy, His comfort, His wrath, His hatred for Sin, I believe in His character, His sacrifice He made for all of us on earth, I believe in God the Son and the Holy Spirit! Because I truly believe I receive the gifts to know what He says is true, and because I believe in Him being my Lord I receive the Holy Spirit that reveals to me all of what He gives me!!! It is a new year and it is time for us to listen to Him. We are no longer going to here him ask us, "Why do you call me Lord, Lord and do not do what I say?" We need to start listening to Him more than our own little worlds and be a part of something bigger! Start by listening to Him and hearing Him through the Holy Spirit He gives you, His word and other brothers and sisters He speaks through. Listen to Him in our relationships and through our circumstances. Asking ourselves, what is He telling us? Are we always sick, if we are what do we do first, are we having more faith in medicine or the doctors or Him by praying to Him before we take a step to the medicine or doctor. Do we worry to the point it blocks our faith? Are we envious, jealous or angry? Are we prideful wanting to go our own way thinking we can save ourselves? Are we constantly using the same excuse, "We are only human?" Are we tolerating sin and wrong doing?Do we worship the way we want to and not the way He wants us too? All of these things we are doing is blocking our faith in Him! Are we praying and speaking in faith truly knowing He is able to give us exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us? Are we continually calling things that are not as though they were with faith in His hope, His perseverance and guidance, never giving up! Never falling off the rock standing firm in the faith He gave us when we first felt His love, continually fighting the good fight of faith standing firm on His rock of glory! Ask yourself, "Do I know this power that is within me? If you do not know the power than you do not know the forgiving love, only a forgiven man knows the power. If you do not know His love then today give yourself to Him, repent of your sins knowing you will never be the person He wants you to be with out His loving grace you receive from His sacrifice for you on the cross, taking all your sins and nailing them to the cross, feel his loving forgiveness that changes you! His love of forgiveness takes you places and reveals things in your heart you never knew about yourself, take it, accept it and receive it deep down where it cannot be shaken! This is my prayer for you, to know Him as your Lord and Savior that means if he is your Lord, you are going to listen to Him and block out what ever else the world and Satan throws at you, you know Him by knowing His forgiving love and His forgiving love will guide you!

Asking for God's help through your prayers

I am not one to tell everyone what I am doing for the Lord, I believe that is between me and Him and the people he has led me too. He gave me a writing ministry years back along with a service ministry. Some of you know this by my website and my Facebook page some of you don't. It is called Love4Love Minsitry and He has changed many peoples lives through it including my own each and every day. He helps others through me and by me doing what He has given me to do and using His ability He gave me to do it, I continue to grow in faith each and everyday because of doing His will for my life. I am what I am by the Grace of God, not by my work, but His work in me. With this said I am requesting prayers today from all His faithful servants. This is something I have not done before, like I said, I do not want others to think I am more highly than they because of His work he has given me to do, so I refrain. I have been working on my book for over five years maybe more from the time it was first born, it is called, God and Me, myself and I. It is about my life journey and all the identities we have before we accept our true one through Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. We often think the identity we are living is His but we get deceived often and His book He wrote through me will help so many realize how they are being deceived by following the lies we often think are the truth. It takes you each step from childhood to adulthood and you see how I was deceived in thinking me, myself was the I, I truly am. Meaning He is truly who I am because God is all we need to be who we truly are. This book has many tears in it, through all my sins, sufferings from them, different perceptions, persecutions, love, hate, and finally freedom. I was not a Holy person and I did not grow up around Holy people although I went to church all of my life. I have had no higher education above the 12th grade and I struggled with that. No seminary school but only taught by the Holy Spirit. I did not have a great job but I did make a lot of money, that I gave up. I was a maid for someone most of my life including myself, no tragic circumstance my God brought me in or through other than guilt and shame wearing me down and defining me that kept me from knowing Him. I have lost a home I dreamed of and worked for over 20 years, but was not effected by it because He prepared me a head of time before I went through this circumstance. I finally gave myself to Him after many years of going through a closet of different identities I thought was true. He gave me something I would never deserve, a gift, a white robe full of grace and my true identity began living. He did not stop there, He gave me many gifts and new abilities and one of them was writing. I went through many months of "Who am I" before I accepted He was in charge, it did not matter who I was, or thought I was, He was all in all. He began leading me to people and one of them is a dear and beloved friend of mine Duke Alkire to help him write his memoirs of faith in Jesus Christ and his life as being a part of the Atlanta Prison Chaplin core for thirty years. I am also working on a book series of fiction children series called "God's little Prophets and servants". I have finished one called, "The little Fisherman, and started on one called, "The little sisters, Martha and Mary." Each one of these stories is fiction but allows children to imagine how each prophet and servant may have been as a child and God brought them along with His plan and purpose. I am asking today for prayers, I am sending query letters to writing agents today for them to accept my books as their projects to help me make His love known by His stories to be shared. His love has changed so many lives today and will continue. He changes them with His love through each of us with His plans and purposes. I am asking you to help me complete his work he has given me to do through out my life with your prayers asking him to guide each letter to the person He has chosen to help me for his stories to be told. Thank you so much for your time in reading my request and for your prayers, I know His will will be done and accomplish what ever he desires, my faith is in Him giving me all I need to accomplish what ever he has asked of me. With all my love to everyone with all the love He gives me for you always.

My Thansgiving day with my family

Before I begin telling you about my day I must tell you about my relationship with the Lord. Some of you may know already but for those that don't I have to tell you before we begin.He has given me wisdom and knowledge for me to be able to be a spiritual women and judge all things. At first when I received these gifts my flesh wanted no part of them but through faith in Him, my Lord, He soon killed the power of my flesh, I no longer listen to the old women any longer, the voice of the Holy Spirit tunes her out easily now.His wisdom and knowledge are certainly not my own, and those that know Him know me and can testify that all I am is through the grace of God. His wisdom and knowledge of who He is gives me my mind to know He is all in all.
     This was the first "Thanksgiving Day" that our family has talked about scripture and the word of God with His definitions of our salvation through our lack or abundance of faith each one of us have or do not have. With our conversation came strong opinions with a right or wrong attitude. This is the way we all become divided and can not handle any discussion's because we are not willing to be taught by our Savior and submit to Him, our beliefs become our own. Paul tells us that there are no wrong or right beliefs in our Lord with the ones that are truly seeking His wisdom, there are things God has not revealed to each one of us, and we must ponder and meditate on what each other is giving us for God to reveal a new revelation has come to our well willing minds to receive more of him. We do not box Him in to our own mind in what it wants to receive. We all have one purpose but He may use us in different ways with different gifts but it is His way and we all can receive all the gifts, He shows not favoritism in His giving, we hinder his gifts of limitless giving by who we are. This is why for me I never get angry, compare or refuse any knowledge of what a person may want to reveal to me, but I do come across others that do not want to here, listen or have a open mind to listen to the truth through the Holy Spirit that always is backed up by His word. I have learned who these people are through His wisdom and sometimes He does not let me stop even though I want too. During our discussion, which was cut off because of people not being able to discuss anything with out getting angry, I learned a lot about the different ways we believe in our Savior due to the relationship some of us have created Him to be. This is a few that was revealed to me. First my dear and beloved brother is beginning or has begun to believe we have to go to seminary school to be able to receive the wisdom to be a preacher, pastor or counselor for our Lord and Savior out of what the world has told him. School and education is good and gives us a chance to only concentrate only on Him many hours of the day where those of us that do not go to school may concentrate more on the world than on him. There are those that do drop everything including their jobs or spend all their spare time no matter what and focus on what the Lord is giving them through their everyday lives through His word. They can receive as much wisdom from God has someone who goes to school and gets a education the worldly way. It is the Holy Spirit that gives us our education and teaches all things, through our faith in our Lord and Savior making us who we are each day not through "education" from the world's point of view. It is said today those who go through the "education process" have more opportunities in the world to be heard because we do in the world base everything on the world's education process much like the Greeks and Romans did in Biblical times,  but I promise you if God wants you to be heard he will give you all you need and place He wants you to be heard. That is why God used a humble birth for His son with a humble life with no worldly education, fishermen, a shepherd boy, an outcast, an elderly man, a prostitute, a seven demon possessed woman, and a man that had a worldly education that did not mean anything, to make His power known! This to me is a God that loves all people and wants to save all people, wants to give all of himself to all people regardless of who they think they are! The foolish man in the world he makes wise and the wise in the world he makes foolish, that is how incredibly different His wisdom is from ours! This is faith in Him; that he creates things out of nothing and makes all things possible out of the impossible! Not one time has the Holy Spirit of God told me that I have to go to a worldly school to get the right meaning of Him and the will of Him in my life, and neither does His Holy word. All we receive from Him comes through faith in Him from right believing, that is what separates us from the world!
     Another family member believes that we all continue to sin everyday and we all will continue to fall and have to be picked up over and over again, never being what God expects us to be. Again, I tell you the truth, the Holy Spirit within me has never told me I will continue to sin, and I will have to be picked up over and over again because I am going to always fall. God tells us He keeps us from falling over and over again when we stand firm in our faith in Him and not rely on other voices that want to keep us from hearing our Lord. As soon as we rely on ourselves and our own voice, the voice of the world, or the voice of Satan we will always fall but He will not always pick us up, sometimes if we continue sinning he will leave us alone until we rot a little while and become rotten with sin before we will truly  call to Him, or come to Him asking in a humble broken and poor spirit knowing His way is the only way. What we go through suffering in this way is due to our unwillingness to believe in His power to forgive us and keep us from sinning.  We often focus more on our weakness than His power. It may seam humbling to the world to say you are a daily sinner but to God if you are in Christ to say this sounds like we do not believe in his power of grace working through us. It is a insult to Him in what He wants to give us that keeps us from sinning continually. The way we continually talk about our own sin is an insult to our Creator. We can not and will not be able to save ourselves but He can. He who is greater than me and the world is within me making something that is higher than the world. There is only one relationship that matters, our personal relationship with our Redeemer and Lord.  We let everything else go, but we maintain our relationship to Him at all costs and leave everything else behind. Then and only then will we get use to hearing his voice and discern from the others so we can put them behind us. God tells us through him we will not continue to sin. It is grace that teaches us to say no to ungodliness not anything or anyone else including ourselves. It is a gift from Him to those that have faith in Him, those who don't do not know the power of grace and they will continue sinning. God tells us the reason he sent his son was to destroy the devils work, and if you continue sinning the work of the devil is not being destroyed. 1 John 3v 8 He who does what is sinful is of the devil, because the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil's work. v9 No one who is born o God will continue to sin, because God's seed remains in him; he cannot go on sinning, because he has been born of God.) If we do sin we ask for forgiveness and we are forgiven no guilt or shame is there and more grace is given to us for us not to do it again, whether we receive His grace  and acknowledge it depends on the faith  we have in our Savior completing His work in us, and not receiving His grace in vain for our use instead of His use. We who are in Christ Jesus and have been saved through faith by the grace we have received know we were the least of all the believers and do not deserve to be called an apostle, because of the sins we have committed, we all are abnormally born. But by the grace of God we are who we are, and his grace to us was not without effect. We know we work harder than all of them-yet not us, but the grace of God that is with us. Whether, than it was I or they, this is what we preach, and this what you believed. For what we receive we pass on to you.
     My aunt Dee is one that I can talk to all day long and can discuss what God has revealed to her and what He has revealed to her without getting mad or angry. Those people are very few on this earth for me. I pray to God that He gives me more and more of them. I am so thankful for the ones He does give me and the number is growing. I do not mean those I minister too, they are growing everyday and I could not grow in the relationship with my Lord with out you because He would not be using me if I was not ministering to those around me. We all have to remember we all are members of a royal Priest hood and He gives all of us gifts to us so He can work through us to complete what He has asked of us!!
     This is part of my Thanksgiving, the discussion got stopped with a loud halt because there were some that were not mature enough to handle the discussion. I am so thankful that we had one and it was started!!! I soon found out later from my son that he had discussed God's blessing and opportunities He  had given him with his cousins, but for us to discuss our relationship in what He reveals to us personally of himself was a new conversation. I hope and pray we have many more and we do not let the world and all the other voices we hear put out the Spirit's on going  fire within us.I hope and pray for your families to learn from my family that it should be something we all do who are in Christ Jesus. Peace, and love will always come to you with His truth of who He is in our lives through me because His voice is the only one I hear! Passing on His love, wisdom, joy, peace and knowledge that he gives me to you with a thankful heart pouring out to God for all he gives all of us!
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